The Priest.

(Spoken Word)

The thin line of white light in the distance,
the half-open door, the persistence,
the will to live is what compelled me,
on that cold, dark, treacherous night;
When they tied me, told me they could see,
the blood on my hands, the evil in my eyes,
the semen on my wretched crotch;
They found the body, they said, in the moor,
with leeches sucking the dead blood that rots,
and now they were all in a rage;
A divine moment of higher truth, i felt like a sage,
underneath the torment of simple minds that god refused to touch;
And i blamed them all, it is because of you, i said,
and you and you and you;
I pointed my finger until they lynched it to rest,
lying face down on the ground,
with my hands tied, dirt in my mouth,
my body screamed as they put the salt in my wounds....
And then they whipped me again.



For years after that, i traveled from place to place,
a wanderer, a man with nothing to lose,
but a grieving sin, nailed to my back;
The children shrieked in in terror and stoned my face,
the women-folk covered themselves at my wretched sight,
i lived eating maggot refined shit, disposed, by the side of the road;
And then one day, it came to me,
clear as a crystal of methamphetamine on a cold winter night,
as i lay there choking on my own vomit;
I set out to find home, with the company of the cur that licked the blood off my wounds each night,
the only faithful i had left,
it wagged its tail whenever the towns-folk whipped me,
and later it would comfort me with its warm tongue,
licking me dry, of myself.



I could hear the celebration, and see the glimmer of the bright lights wavering in the distance,
i sat down for hours with the mutt, chasing its infested tail with its snapping jaws;
I watched them.
I watched them eat and kiss and sing and dance,
a beautiful mask to cover their bitter jealousy;
They were bitter for i had helped her escape,
the wretched circle of life,
i HAD to rid them of their sins,
and so... i went.



I blessed them, that christmas eve,
I blessed them all...
I started with them men, and ended with the children.

nothing,at all...

i asked her why she wasn't crying tonight,
she said, nothing,
i asked her why she had closed her eyes,
she said, nothing;

i asked her, to smile,
one last time,
before i fall,
she said nothing, nothing at all;

i asked her why the night sky wasn't bright,
she said, nothing,
i told her that i would never lie,
she said, nothing;

i asked her why,
she was being a child,
nothing i did,
that i could recall,
she said nothing, nothing at all;

the stars don't shine,
the words don't rhyme,
with broken pride,
he tried one last time,
as he held her hand, she felt like ice,
a soul less mould, there she lie,
in all his dismay,
tears fill his eyes and again he talks,
he waits for a reply,
but still, she says nothing, nothing at all...

[untitled]

lie beside me;
see the warmth in my face;
trust me, with all your heart;
its fake;
you know who i am;
and you still feel;
you really don't know me;
id like to watch you bleed;
writhing in pain;
you realize I'm insane;
the reasons, remain unknown;
the innocence in your eyes, the gentle smile;
they make me burn;
its not anger, its really not hate;
its the pain of it all, that i really crave;
let me, watch that innocence die;
and see tears fill, those questioning eyes;
as that sensual touch, wakes me up;
from the dream, that satisfies me, so much;
kissing you gently, i wait, till the time is right;
until then, i'll live, in a lie.

untied shoelaces

i love staring at the light.and then staring at the dark.the glow that stays back in my eyes kills most of my free time.it floats like gravity defies it,thats the best part.i try to look at it,like trying to look into the sun,then,seeing it float away,to some corner.i try to move my eyes away from it,i can see it following me around,like it wants to get back in my view.
i like sitting under lights.sometimes,bugs fly directly into the light,like a plane,flying straight into a wall.they fall down.like dirty raindrops,which may fall directly on my eye,but i dont want to close my eyes or look away from the light.

i would like to see my face without skin,a morbid thought,it is,i know,but would you ever really get a chance to do that?even in your last dying moments,if you somehow live through the pain of peeling your skin off,would you actually live to remember it?life sucks because of this,call me a pessimist,balls to you,dragon balls to me?akons balls to you.so many fucking things you cant do before you die.can you ever sprout wings and fly away?no,but you can get a close feeling of it if you bungee jump while high.

i hate socially acceptable addictions.and the people who're on them.

i hate being nice.balls to you if you cant stand me,you can shag your dog for all i care.and no,i dont want to wish your good morning back to you,cause mornings suck.youre just happy about it cause youre sucking up to your boss/teacher/whatever higher authority.

values...why buy when you can steal?

walking away from stuff you know you have to go back to sucks.like not flushing your toilet just because youre too lazy.figure out the deeper meaning instead of laughing about the pot full of shit.

:)....aww....look at you little smiley...would you like to die?would you?huh?little bastard.

education sucks.the education system sucks.its a training ground for 'young professionals' who will be walking with the same plastic face on for the rest of their lives.fuck your 3-piece suit.

ever think of how it would be if you were a boob and you could see?so many men staring at you as the rest of you walks.stealing little glances,your world tumbles into an earthquake if the rest of you runs down a flight of stairs.yes,i waste my time thinking about things like these.

ever stuck a matchstick into one end of a pen refill and lit it up?no?you can see drops of fire fall to the ground.

if you dont have a bath for a month,three layers of thick dirt accumulate where ever your skin is exposed most of the time.having a bath twice will rid you of it.

ever try sliding down stairs on a piece of plywood?its awesome,except you have nothing to hold on to....

id like to have superpowers.

the diary of a killer......

does anyone care?

he wants some one to pray to,

someone to preach to,

someone to kill,

does anyone dare?

to call him a whiner,

he sits in his corner ,

and hes aware....


does anyone care at all?
whimsical seems the situaion,
his despair before his fall,


and hes aware,

as they pass by and stare,

hell get them one day,

one day very soon,

as they play and bet,

they dont know hes watching,

they dont know hes watching,

theyre every step,

and hes aware ,

that the dogs will come hunting,

and people running,

just to find him,

yet hes justified,

his course of action,

well,to each his own muse,

to each his own sin.....

anila

anila......this ones for you dudette......hehe

she took their weather;

left the hanging by,their thinnest strand;

she took their power;

dug a hole so deep,too deep for hand;

she too their beauty;

there was none darker,than their land;

(chorus:)
shes on suicide,save me,save me;

shes on suicide,save me,save me;

she says;

when are you going to;`

take away my dying soul?;

when will you?;

needle my death you whore;

im a puddle of mud;

ive just stepped,in myself;

and,just like a fool;

have become somebody else........

(chorus)

burn

first theres the pain,then theres something more;

like the waves hit the sand and take it away from the shore;

what i really think,you know so well;

so put me back in the darkness,take me out of hell;

why do you insist,on keepinkg me here?;

is this a test?making me face my fears?;

breaking me down into pieces,until theres nothing left;

life's a whore,that shouldnt be kept;

if there really is something more,then show it to me;

'cause i chose the darkess,now i cant see.............